“I researched everyday how I was going to leave him, to get help and divorce him.”

I met my husband through work. We were married for almost 30 years and had a fulfilling life and two children together.

Unfortunately, my husband lost both of his parents within the same year. He struggled with this loss, resulting in him turning to alcohol.

He became very secretive about everything he was doing. He was using derogative words to me, always putting me down especially around other people. Then the gaslighting started, blaming me for everything that went wrong. I was pushed against the landing banister, resulting in severe bruising to the side of my upper body. It was the rage on his face that made me become very fearful of him and I was fearful for my life. I took to living in the spare bedroom with lots of locks on the door where I stayed for a year.

I researched everyday how I was going to leave him to get help and divorce him. I did this without his knowledge. I needed help and support from people who understood what I was going through. I later found a local support service.

I made an appointment, and this was the first step of my journey that I had planned. I attended the coffee mornings and all the courses they offered around domestic abuse which gave me the tools to understand my domestic abuse. I was able to be rehoused and divorce my husband.

I had a newfound, positive attitude to move on with my life, taking steps to go out to functions and take holidays on my own.

The support service gave me the tools to change my life and with their help and support I changed my life, put the past behind me and moved on.